I have been dating my boyfriend for almost three months, but have yet to meet his parents. So far, I have only met his sister and her husband, who seemed to like me a lot. My boyfriend’s cousin is getting married in two weeks and I will be going, but I don’t know what to wear. I bought a dress that my boyfriend says is way too “scandalous” for his more prim and proper family. But I don’t want a floor length dress that buttons to my chin! Is it okay to go with some cleavage? Or am I going to be forced to look like a nun for this wedding?
-Anonymous
I understand your tricky situation girl, I really do. But in this case, your boyfriend is right. Since you have only been dating him for such a short period of time AND have yet to meet to the parents, showing up in some shocking skin tight, cleavage baring, stiletto heeled concoction is a sure chance for you to blow any chance you may have with his parentals. Especially since they are more “prim and proper.” You don’t need to cover your entire body though. A rule I try to live by is either show my legs or show my cleave, but not both at once. Keep this rule in mind when you are choosing your dress. My advice for a family function- pick the legs. Much classier than too much boob and those tricky nip slips. Find possibly a one shoulder dress that looks elegant without being boring and add a great pair of heels (not too tall or hookerish) to impress his fam. Remember, you want his dad to think you’re a great catch for his son- not someone he wants to pay for a one night stand with.
Q: I have been dating the same guy off and on for almost two years now. We’ve broken up before because he has cheated, but I believe he will finally be faithful to me. I have two friends that were in the same relationship situation as me, and they both now have babies. Their boyfriends seem super supportive of them. Should I try to have a baby to make my relationship better?
-Anonymous
A: No! I hate this question times a thousand. A baby will not save a relationship. Please, write it on a sticky note, tape it to your bathroom mirror, get it tattooed on your lower back. Babies are not a solution! Having a baby makes a relationship harder. There are more things to worry about: housing issues, money troubles, different parenting styles, the list can go on and on and on. It sounds like your boyfriend might not be ready to settle down and start a happy family quite yet. If he has been unfaithful to you, especially multiple times, that is a sign that he is obviously not ready for commitment. The last thing you want to do is throw a child in the mix and then have your boyfriend leave for good. Then you’re forced to go into single parenthood, which is damaging not only for you, but for your baby as well. And how would you feel if you found out later in life your parents conceived you not out of love, not out of wanting to start their own family, but because they wanted to save the relationship. Especially if they were no longer together? You would feel terrible, possibly blame yourself for the failed relationship of your parents. Do me a favor, and don’t do it! Only try for a baby once you are in a healthy, committed relationship, and taking that next step is agreed on with both you and your partner. Don’t be selfish here, girlfriend. There are more people than just yourself you need to consider before making that decision.
I can’t say I know why, but often my friends come to me seeking advice. Usually it’s on love, dating, cheating, blah blah blah. Is it because I’ve been through multiple relationships- one with a woman beater, one with an apparent sex addiction problem, one with someone who was more like my brother, one with the classic bad boy, and one with the all around perfect man- only for me to cheat on him and dump him. Is it because every relationship I’ve had ended badly (most involving cheating) and I’ve lived with my boyfriends, moved out with boyfriends, etc. Or is because that through all the relationship ups and downs that I have been through, I’ve always managed to find the bright side? I learned from all my mistakes, learned how to make the same crappy decisions and fall under the same spells. And look at me now- successfully living with a boyfriend that I’ve been dating for almost four years. Is that why people ask me dating advice?
Do my friends come to me for advice because of all the other bullshit I’ve been through in my life? The usual sob stories here- no daddy, sexually abused by family members, homeless at sixteen, mother addicted to gambling, heck the only thing missing from my story is that I didn’t get knocked up or turn to drugs or prostitution. Is it because I didn’t turn to those things, that I still found a way to look on the bright side, that my friends ask me my advice? And look at me now- successfully working for the government, making good money and receiving excellent benefits, living in a fab condo driving a nice car, and writing a novel. Is that why people ask me for advice?
I got the idea to start this blog when yet another friend texted me asking if I could do dinner with her. I knew what that meant- something was wrong in her life and she needed advice from me on how to turn it around, how to see the positive. I thought, surely there are more people than my circle of friends that could use some choice words to knock some sense into them. So my blog was born. I decided to remain anonymous, just because I tell it like it is. Many fights between me and my friends have been started because my choice words (thanks Whoopi) and I would rather nobody in cyber space come chasing after me. I put little feelers out there, seeing if anyone would write in to me and ask their questions, and miraculously, people did! So now my Bitch Tips Blog will go public, and I will strive to answer as many questions from you that I can. I will post your question and your name, age, and location (or if you don’t want any of that information out there, simply say anonymous) and give you my feedback. You might love me, you might hate, I don’t really care. I know that because you scanned over the advice I wrote, some of you may take something away from what I’m saying- and that’s what I care about. Helping people. I’ve wondered too often why so many crappy things have had to happen in my life, so many why me? nights. Well, maybe it’s to help others, so they don’t have to go through what I’ve gone through. Whatever it is, I’m on a mission. So let me just crack my knuckles and ahhh…let us begin……
